Sitting In His Hand

I worry constantly. I worry about "what if's" and let myself live in fear because I obviously can't control everything and I am not walking in faith like I should be. My biggest fear and worry is losing Trey or the boys. I can almost fall apart typing those words. However, deep down I know that I God has everything under control and he will take care of everything. I just don't live this way. Honestly, everyday when I get overwhelmed with worry about the boys or Trey God is right there reminding me with the words do not worry. Worry will get you know where. So if I hear it on a daily basis why do I let myself be bound up in fear anyway?

Well, today it was revealed to me(actually I opened my eyes and heart to God) how God protected our family yesterday and how he is watching us and has us in his hand. He knows the plans he has for us not to harm us but to give us hope and a future. (parapharase of Jer. 29:11) And it came to me that the reason I worry and keep myself bound up in worry is because I am not trusting him. I think I can just handle this on my own and he is sitting there waiting on me to trust him. Not that he had to prove anything to me but he showed me that he is watching and holding our family lovingly in his hand. Now the hard part for me....I need to let go and just trust God. I need to trust in his word and the verses he has led me to and let him have control. I need to put my nose back in his word and work on my relationship with him instead of letting every other little thing get in the way.

God I love you and praise you and most of all I am so thankful that you hold me and my family in your hand even when I try to control and steer us. Thank you for always being the same. Thanks for being never leaving me and excepting me back when I have found myself astray among the everyday task and things of the world. I love you and praise you and honor your Holy Name!

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