Blissful Chaos

Okay so if you are a Francesca Battistelli Fan than you know that is part of the lyrics to her song "Free To Be Me" I love the song because it makes me realize that God loves me with all my imperfections. I struggle so much every day with not being the person everyone around me needs me to be that I end up making myself miserable. At work I am a manager and I need to lead and I feel that I fail at this task everyday. Sometimes I get mad and really let my aggression and anger get the best of me while on other days I am too compassionate toward everyone I come in contact with. In my mind, a good manager would know every solution imaginable, know how to communicate that and know how to do it with grace. So I fail and miss the mark miserably. At home, I am a wife, mother, and housekeeper. Where do I begin with my shortfalls in these areas. As a wife I don't always feel like being submissive and understanding. On the Mom home front I can be irritable after working all day a...

Today's post is totally inspired by PMS! I just need to get a few things off my chest. First, why is it that every time I go to hang window treatments or hardware for the windows in my house that I end up running into metal in the walls. I seriously try to avoid the "metal areas" every time and inevitably hit them every time! It is the curse of the Craig Home! However, I did get one curtain and the hardware hung up in our bonus room yesterday and it looks great! Now to tackle the next window! Next let me just say that I have the shortest patience on earth when it come to things that I have to deal with at work. I know part of my lack of patience is the fact that I would rather be home tending to my husband, children and my home. However, I am here and I know that I am here for a reason. God has made it clear over several years now that this matter is in his hands and for me to just trust him. So I am, but I am slightly being a brat the past couple of weeks. Lets just be h...

Gosh, when will I learn that I am never going to be perfect? When will I learn to take each day as it comes and just be happy and not worry? I don't know that I am ever going to get this through me thick noggin! I get my list of to do's out everyday just to be disappointed that I failed miserably and didn't accomplish everything. Sad thing is no one could accomplish everything on the list of to do's that I make. Today I was home from work to rest because I haven't been sleeping at night. Jackson is struggling with some nightmares and night terrors and he is not really ever sleeping these days. So I decided I needed some sleep because I was at the point when you are so tired you just cry all the time. Sleep was great! However when I woke up I was mad at myself for not being more productive! Why must I put guilt on myself for getting much needed rest so that I can take care of my husband and sons? This is the vicious cycle my mind runs through all the time. ...