Perfection is my enemy
Okay so if you are a Francesca Battistelli Fan than you know that is part of the lyrics to her song "Free To Be Me" I love the song because it makes me realize that God loves me with all my imperfections. I struggle so much every day with not being the person everyone around me needs me to be that I end up making myself miserable.
At work I am a manager and I need to lead and I feel that I fail at this task everyday. Sometimes I get mad and really let my aggression and anger get the best of me while on other days I am too compassionate toward everyone I come in contact with. In my mind, a good manager would know every solution imaginable, know how to communicate that and know how to do it with grace. So I fail and miss the mark miserably.
At home, I am a wife, mother, and housekeeper. Where do I begin with my shortfalls in these areas. As a wife I don't always feel like being submissive and understanding. On the Mom home front I can be irritable after working all day and then having to rush when I get home to make sure both boys are taken care of and I get some kind of time to just enjoy them. Well, then there is that blasted housekeeping that falls on the back burner because my husband, children and work come first. So needless to say it is done in any spare time that I have. Oh, and what about hobbies and bible study? Am I allowed? I mean technically I have these other priorities...
Basically when I think of the perfect wife, mother, and housekeeper I think of June Cleaver. She did it all with grace and style. Remember she cooked full meals everyday, cleaned and was the "perfect mom" and did it all in a dress, pearls and heels!!!!!! What gives me the idea that this is perfection? I keep myself at home on the weekends because I feel I can't do anything until the house is perfectly cleaned and everything in its "perfect" place. I have a to do list and those task must be completed and done before I am allowed to do anything just for me. Where do I come up with this? Who thinks like this?
I am pretty sure out of all the people on earth I am not the only one that struggles balancing everything and trying to be superwoman. It is not possible. I am thankful that I realize that and just have to keep the guilt at bay when a dirty dish isn't in the sink or dishwasher or when there is dust on the top of furniture. We all are imperfect! We all fall short. However, one thing that resonates deep within me that I tend to try and push to the side is that fact that Jesus loves me this I know! He loves me right where I am. Imperfect down to the last dirty dish and spot of dust. God knows my imperfections and loves me anyway. For that I am beyond thankful!
Thank you Jesus for loving me just as I am and just where I am. Even though I struggle daily to deal with this enemy you are there every step of the way to guide me if I let you. Jesus thanks for reminding me to lean on you.
Jennifer
At work I am a manager and I need to lead and I feel that I fail at this task everyday. Sometimes I get mad and really let my aggression and anger get the best of me while on other days I am too compassionate toward everyone I come in contact with. In my mind, a good manager would know every solution imaginable, know how to communicate that and know how to do it with grace. So I fail and miss the mark miserably.
At home, I am a wife, mother, and housekeeper. Where do I begin with my shortfalls in these areas. As a wife I don't always feel like being submissive and understanding. On the Mom home front I can be irritable after working all day and then having to rush when I get home to make sure both boys are taken care of and I get some kind of time to just enjoy them. Well, then there is that blasted housekeeping that falls on the back burner because my husband, children and work come first. So needless to say it is done in any spare time that I have. Oh, and what about hobbies and bible study? Am I allowed? I mean technically I have these other priorities...
Basically when I think of the perfect wife, mother, and housekeeper I think of June Cleaver. She did it all with grace and style. Remember she cooked full meals everyday, cleaned and was the "perfect mom" and did it all in a dress, pearls and heels!!!!!! What gives me the idea that this is perfection? I keep myself at home on the weekends because I feel I can't do anything until the house is perfectly cleaned and everything in its "perfect" place. I have a to do list and those task must be completed and done before I am allowed to do anything just for me. Where do I come up with this? Who thinks like this?
I am pretty sure out of all the people on earth I am not the only one that struggles balancing everything and trying to be superwoman. It is not possible. I am thankful that I realize that and just have to keep the guilt at bay when a dirty dish isn't in the sink or dishwasher or when there is dust on the top of furniture. We all are imperfect! We all fall short. However, one thing that resonates deep within me that I tend to try and push to the side is that fact that Jesus loves me this I know! He loves me right where I am. Imperfect down to the last dirty dish and spot of dust. God knows my imperfections and loves me anyway. For that I am beyond thankful!
Thank you Jesus for loving me just as I am and just where I am. Even though I struggle daily to deal with this enemy you are there every step of the way to guide me if I let you. Jesus thanks for reminding me to lean on you.
Jennifer
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