Where I am and where I want to be

Gosh, when will I learn that I am never going to be perfect? When will I learn to take each day as it comes and just be happy and not worry? I don't know that I am ever going to get this through me thick noggin! I get my list of to do's out everyday just to be disappointed that I failed miserably and didn't accomplish everything. Sad thing is no one could accomplish everything on the list of to do's that I make.

Today I was home from work to rest because I haven't been sleeping at night. Jackson is struggling with some nightmares and night terrors and he is not really ever sleeping these days. So I decided I needed some sleep because I was at the point when you are so tired you just cry all the time. Sleep was great! However when I woke up I was mad at myself for not being more productive! Why must I put guilt on myself for getting much needed rest so that I can take care of my husband and sons? This is the vicious cycle my mind runs through all the time.

I am so thankful that God is with me and he is teaching me to turn to him and not get caught up in this vicious cycle anymore. I have been learning memory verses and the message he is sending me is so clear these days. Take each day as it comes and focus on him. NOT THE WORLD and NOT WHAT OTHERS EXPECT(or what I think they do).

With my first five memory verses he has etched these words in my memory to call on "the earth has nothing I desire but God" ; feast on God's word ; live with faith in God ; money and income mean nothing; and God is my life. It is obvious that I am not where I want to be or even close to where I should be but thank God I am hearing the message and taking the baby steps in that direction. Maybe one day soon I will be able to say that I am not concerned with the things of this world.

Jennifer

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